|
Shiny Doom Forum Forum content does NOT necessarily reflect the views of the Admins of this forum. Read at your own risk. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom DOOM doom doom doom
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
TheExecutioner Guest
|
Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2004 4:37 pm Post subject: Poems by Andrew |
|
|
Goodbye Forever
Isolation
Death.
All will come to an end
All will be different soon.
Only one way to finish it
Only one way to find out.
You will see it soon enough
You will see it by times end.
Everyday pain, misery
Everyday, suffering, tourture.
The last solution to stop everything.
The last solution to end the darkness.
Oneday, someday
These days, everyday.
Goodbye, Ill tell you why
Forever, you tell me why not.
Eternal Depression
This nagging feeling, never goes away,
I just want some peace, to last me some days.
What shall I do, I just don't know,
But the problem lies where I just can't show.
I want to run away from this torment,
To leave this hell of anguish and distress.
This state of mind, so unbearable,
To live this way day after day just unthinkable.
The lies build over time,
This veil of happiness dies alongside.
No longer are there parts of this world do I enjoy,
I stay in hatred and gloom and look around in total agony.
Through years I've lived this hated existence,
And yet I still continue to further my abhorrence.
I have been thru this in all Eternity,
A depression that won't leave despite my misery. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fate Uber-Karma
Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1178
|
Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2004 5:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
hi and welcome to the board. _________________ People's whole lives do pass before their eyes before they die. The process is called living.
Most of the time its easier to get along with people before you get to know them. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Katrina Good Karma
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 215 Location: Uranus
|
Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2004 10:55 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Both of these poems deal with a sad or serious topic, but I like the way you kind of use slanted rhyme. i think clear rhyme would sound just a bit too forced. I'm not sure I understand the last line of the first poem. Is it the person who left doesn't think their death is important and that's why they say "why not?" (I dunno.., I'm also reading at night, so that might have something to do with my interpretation.
Anyways, welcome from me as well. _________________ Check it out! I finally remembered my login for this account. I can do crazy things like put text in my signature and change my avatar so it doesn't say NaNoWriMo 2005. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|