Shiny Doom Forum

[Katrina]

Hi everyone! Okay, I don't know if anyone likes reading these or not. No one really replied the last time I started posting a story. But I guess that means no one had any complaints either. Anyways, I'll try to bring some life back to this forum by posting some more of my stuff. But please tell me if you like or not, k? That way I know whether or not to post more. (I did put up the next chapter of Simple Choices if anyone was interested.

Summary: 16-year-old Vicky Anderon's life is devastated when she falls victim to a serial rapist. But after her mother suggests a pregnancy test, life is no longer a mere matter of healing, but also a decision that will change her forever. Rated PG-13.

Just As Innocent: Chapter 1

I didn't realize the full impact of that night until much later after it happened. I was really out of it when I first came to. Everything around me was dark and blurry, and my eyes didn't really want to focus. So the first things I noticed were about the room were my two best friend's voices hovering above me, whispering,

"She's waking up! She's awake!" I tried to sit myself up, but my whole body ached like someone had beat every muscle down to nothing. Go figure. At that point, I finally focused my vision enough to look at my surroundings. A painting of a red tulip mounted on a white plaster wall stared back at me and the light from the ceiling lamp blared down at me. I saw was wearing one of those light blue hospital gowns. I later found out that my regular clothes were ripped too bad to try and mend. Then I saw my friends Sonya and Amber trying to coax me back to lying on the hospital bed.

"You should rest, Vicky," Sonya told me. "You went through a lot."

"Do you remember what happened?" Amber asked. I rubbed my head.

"I think so," I admitted slowly. It was one of those strange moments when you wake up from a long sleep and you can't quite tell if what's just happened is a dream or not. The most recent memories you have are so unreal, so terrifying, you can't possibly believe them to be the truth. And like a little kid, you cling to the person closest to you waiting for them to comfort you and tell you that it's all over. That you were just dreaming. That it didn't really happen.

"I started walking back from the library..." I began. "It wasn't long after you two left. I thought about calling home first, but..." My voice began to trail off. Up until now, I really was ready to pass the whole thing as some sort of awful nightmare. It had to be. Surely that not happened to me.

"It was kind of dark," I continued. "I decided to take the regular shortcut. I was anxious to get home. I couldn't shake this feeling that someone was following... then I felt..." I paused mid-sentence, bringing my hands up to my mouth. "I felt myself being pulled backward by this man, a lot bigger and stronger than me. The first thing I tried to do was scream, but..." My words stopped there. I couldn't get them to go any further. I thought I was okay to go on talking, but for some reason my voice kept cracking, my hands and face were wet, and the taste of salt lingered in my mouth. I was crying. Hard.

"No! No!" I pelted out like the intensity of my voice would wake me out of this nightmare. "Please God, no!"

Sonya reached out and put a compassionate hand on my shoulder. Looking back on it, I know she meant well. But I wasn't thinking too clearly that night.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, punching her arm away from me. Sonya held her wrist where I had hit it and massaged the muscle lightly. I guess I smacked her pretty hard. "I'm sorry," I said, turning my head away. "Could you two... just leave me alone for a while?"

Sonya looked cautiously at Amber as if to ask if it was okay. She must have thought I was going to hurt myself or something if I was left alone. I can't say I blamed her. But Amber nodded authoritatively and led Sonya out of the room, lightly shutting the door behind her. I listened silently as the handle clicked shut, my head still bent to the corner of the bed. Truth be told, I probably would have tried to injure, or even kill myself, if I had had the tools or strength to do it then. But I had nothing. And that which I had held dear to me was gone now. All I could do was lie on that hospital bed, staring at the off-white ceiling, trying to deal with the concept that I'd just been raped.
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Check it out! I finally remembered my login for this account. I can do crazy things like put text in my signature and change my avatar so it doesn't say NaNoWriMo 2005.

[Katrina]

Chapter 2

I fell asleep for a couple more hours after that. When I woke up later, I heard Sonya and Amber's voices again, this time talking with a nurse in the hallway just outside my room. Their voices were low and secretive, trying to keep quiet so that I was not disturbed. I decided to play like I was still asleep so that I could listen in on their conversation.

The nurse said that my mother had been called and was on her way over. Great, I thought to myself. Let's tell the whole world what happened to me. Of course, I knew it was something that had to be done, my mom was going to find out sooner or later. But at this point, later was a sweet nectar I craved almost ravenously. My two best friends were bad enough. I didn't want my mom to be here too. I didn't want her to see me like this.

I turned over and tried to think about what I was going to do now. Was I going back to school? What would everyone think of me if they found out? Our school was part of a little town where watching squirrels run up trees was considered interesting. News of this would spread like wildfire, I was sure.

A few minutes later, my mother appeared in the room. I stared into her eyes, trying to read her emotions. What was she going to say to me? Was she going to say anything? Her face was calm and compassionate, returning my gaze with a gentle look of solace. There was a pair of jeans and a slate sweatshirt in her hands. Without a word, she placed the small pile on my lap.

"The nurse said I should bring an extra change of clothes for you," she said. "Get dressed and when you're ready, we'll head out." I nodded; I didn't know what to make of the whole scene really. Here I had in mind my mother coming in and wailing over the loss of her only daughter's innocence. Yet somehow she was collected and spoke without a trace of over-spilling emotions. I wondered if she cried on the way down.

While my mother stood at the receptionist's desk to check me out, I sat myself down on one the red cushioned chairs in the corner. As I sat and stared, I saw her placing her hand over my mother's wrist and mouthing something to the effect of, "I'm very sorry." She then turned and scribbled down some stuff on a piece of paper, handing it to my mom.

"We did do some testing, the results will be available in a few weeks," speaking at a normal voice now so I could hear her. "She wasn't given any medication, however. Her medical record indicated she has an allergic reaction?"

"Yes," my mother said. "That's correct."

The receptionist nodded as she jotted down a name and telephone number on the back of a business card.

"This is the counselor's number, tell Victoria she's free to call anytime." My mother nodded and slipped the card into her purse. She then took my hand and lead me down the hall, towards the exit. I just starred at the floor the whole time.

When we got home, everything looked the same way it did when I had left it this morning. No surprise, ironic as it was. As I wandered towards my room, I remembered fussing before school about how I didn't think the shirt I had chosen to wear matched my shoes or something stupid like that. I turned to face my mom.

"Can I get a shower?" I asked quietly. I wasn't sure if she would let me or not, she might have thought it would make me upset or something.

My mother merely shrugged her shoulders. "The doctors said they did all the testing they needed, so yes, you could if you wanted." She went to the linen closet and pulled out a towel and washcloth for me.

"I'll make you some tea for when you get out," she volunteered.

"No thanks," I replied.

"It'll be ready in about twenty minutes," she said, apparently either having not heard me or choosing to ignore me.

I closed the bathroom door behind me and started to undress. This was the second time tonight I had to look down at my ruined body. And I was disgusted with it. I walked over to the shower and turned the faucet on full blast, running the water as hot as I could. The moment I stepped in, I could feel my skin burning, begging me to lower the temperature. But I didn't. My senses could not reach me now; I was only focused on one thing ? that burning desire to wash it all away, that filth which entered me, become me, and destroyed everything innocent in my life.

I wasn't out of the shower in twenty minutes. It was well over an hour, and would have gone on longer if my mother hadn't come in to stop me. She made me turn the faucet off and started to cry when she saw how red my skin was from the burning water. But she didn't say a word, only wrapped me in the towel she had gotten for me and guided me back to my room where she helped me change. Then she sat on the bed with me, holding me and swaying gently. I closed my eyes, but I didn't fall asleep until about six in the morning. And beside me the entire time was my mother.
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Check it out! I finally remembered my login for this account. I can do crazy things like put text in my signature and change my avatar so it doesn't say NaNoWriMo 2005.