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The Wii Is a Plastic Box of Death - by Lore Sj?berg

 
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Jastermereel
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Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:19 pm    Post subject: The Wii Is a Plastic Box of Death - by Lore Sj?berg Reply with quote

http://www.wired.com/news/columns/0,72660-0.html?tw=rss.index
Quote:
Let's start with the much-ballyhooed controller. (Studies indicate that the Wiimote is the most ballyhooed video-game controller of all time by 3.5 kilohypes.) Is there any remaining doubt that it was designed expressly as a weapon? Nintendo needed to reinforce its control strap just to keep it from getting loose, werewolflike, and busting up all your home furnishings. To date, the remote has destroyed more than 400 television sets, 78 stereo systems, three bay windows and a monastery that was home to some exceptionally rowdy monks.

At 40 bucks each, the only thing keeping Wiimotes from replacing Glocks as the gang-banging weapon of choice is the fact that you can't actually find them for sale anywhere. Mark my words, someday soon you'll be walking down a dark alley, or at least navigating a poorly lit cul-de-sac, when a thug will emerge from the shadows and tell you that unless you hand over your wallet, you're going to have a D-pad-shaped dent in your skull.

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The old Jastermereel account seems to have been killed in an unfortunate email changing accident. I am an illegal clone manufactured on a little known island state off the coast of...well...never you mind. Pretend nothing happened and you won't have to face the combined wrath of the Guild of Calamitous Intent and the League of Awesomeness.
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