Shiny Doom Forum

[Jastermereel]

Two Gentlemen of Lebowski
http://runleiarun.com/lebowski/

The Big Lebowski...the. entire. movie...converted into a Shakespearian style.

So
Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes click.
Becomes
QUINCE:
Well; but be forewarn d. It reach d mine ears
That combustible Walter, o ercome with rage
Did shed good sense, and raise his sword in play.
I fear not such jade s tricks, an seeing ill,
Would snatch the burden from the jealous knight
And pierce his gizzard with the wrongful steel,
Points up, as said of Coriolanus.

And
The Dude: What's in the fuckin' carrier?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
The Dude: You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak: What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.
The Dude: Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Becomes
THE KNAVE:
An I were dreaming afore, I care not, but do I dream anew? What manner of beast bringest thou to our nightly sport?
WALTER:
Marry, tis the remnant of a previous life s nightly sport. That I was once a married man, thou knowest well; that the Lady Cynthia was a great lover of dogs, thou know st in lesser degree; and the cur abandon d has a tendency to dine upon chair-leg and oaken table, most retrograde to my lady s desire.
THE KNAVE:
Thou speakest in riddles.
WALTER:
It hath been my charge to attend this cur ere my Lady Cynthia return ashore from a voyage to the islands, commanded by Sir Martin of Ackerman.
THE KNAVE:
Thou bringest a cur to ninepins?
WALTER:
I bring naught to ninepins. The dog is not attired by my hand to play at sport, nor do I fetch it ale, nor shall he throw thy bowl-turn in thy stead.
THE KNAVE:
Why, this is lunatics! This is mad as a mad dog! Were I a cuckold of such horn, and a wench bade me mind her animal passions on maiden voyages, whilst men of lesser virtue did swim in foreign waters and seek the isle within the brook, marry, I would cry out Go hang! , and leave the cur to fall where he may. Canst she not board the beast with some gentle farmer or country shepherdess?
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The old Jastermereel account seems to have been killed in an unfortunate email changing accident. I am an illegal clone manufactured on a little known island state off the coast of...well...never you mind. Pretend nothing happened and you won't have to face the combined wrath of the Guild of Calamitous Intent and the League of Awesomeness.

[Jastermereel]

The unreal has become real.
http://www.dm-theatrics.com/twogents/TWOGENTindex.html
_________________
The old Jastermereel account seems to have been killed in an unfortunate email changing accident. I am an illegal clone manufactured on a little known island state off the coast of...well...never you mind. Pretend nothing happened and you won't have to face the combined wrath of the Guild of Calamitous Intent and the League of Awesomeness.

[fate]

seriously? SERIOUSLY? ...my gripe is with the meme image usage...memes are for everyone, they ought to not be sold.
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People's whole lives do pass before their eyes before they die. The process is called living.

Most of the time its easier to get along with people before you get to know them.