Shiny Doom Forum

[rklee]

> > Dear Tech Support:
> >
> > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
> > that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up
> > a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0
> > installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other
> > system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football
> > 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing
> > the system whenever selected.
> >
> > I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
> > run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
> > Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please
> > help!
> >
> > Thanks,
> > A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > REPLY:
> > Dear Troubled User:
> >
> > This is a very common problem that men complain about.
> >
> > Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that
> > it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an
> > OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
> > It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend
> > 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from
> > the system once installed.
> >
> > You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
> > not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
> > Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0
> > and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the
> > background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
> >
> > The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE
> > because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
> > before the system will return to normal anyway.
> >
> > Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high
> > maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as
> > Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
> >
> > However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
> > will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this
> > happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
> > purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
> > 5.0 !
> >
> > WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
> > Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and
> > will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
> >
> > Best of luck,
> > Tech Support
_________________
"My Heart Is In the Work" - Andrew Carnegie

[Katrina]

Yea! I'm getting upgraded!

That was amusing.
_________________
Check it out! I finally remembered my login for this account. I can do crazy things like put text in my signature and change my avatar so it doesn't say NaNoWriMo 2005.